Self-Compassion in the New Year
The new year brings about a familiar question - what are your new year’s resolutions? Do you have goals? What do you plan to achieve over the next twelve months? Maybe this isn’t cutting it for you. 2020 gave us a year unlike any other with new and different ways of interacting with the world and ourselves. Maybe this year you are challenging your language and practicing more grace. Terms like intentions, themes, and mantras invite reflection with a gentler, more compassionate voice.
Are you familiar with the concept of self-compassion? Compassion moves us from a more self-esteem based approach into a space where there is grace and kindness towards our own emotional experiences. In her book, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of being Kind to Yourself, Kristin Neff defines self-compassion as the achievement and combination of three core elements: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.
Now what do those elements mean?
Self-kindness
This is the act of stopping the act of self-judgement, observing the effects of self-criticism, and comforting ourselves in moments of emotional pain. This can allow us to soothe our troubles and extend warmth and gentle sympathy to ourselves from ourselves.
Common Humanity
To differentiate the act of self-compassion from self-acceptance, we need to tap into the idea that the experience of being human is imperfect. Connecting to the idea that we all can make mistakes and feel regret allows for insight and comfort around the idea that we are all humans with shared experiences.
Mindfulness
Being in the moment and accepting without judgement can help center us in the present and shift our perspective to a more compassionate view. As Neff puts it, “we can’t heal what we don’t feel”. As we observe our experiences and discomfort with mindfulness it allows us to react from a more balanced and clear perspective.
If this is a brand new concept for you, exploring self-compassion on your own can feel overwhelming. Our therapists are here to support you throughout your journey. Therapy can be a freeing space to introduce and process self-compassion in your own life.
Reach out to one of our therapists today and connect with us on Instagram @dallashealinghouse.
Authored by: Rachel Tweed, LPC